Introduction

Today I had a dear friend want to ask me a “personal” question. She prefaced it with the fact that she is more embarrassed to ask that I would most likely be to hear it. Of course she could ask and she did.  Her one questioned opened up dialogue over the next hour. 

Do you like how you feel after doing all the dishes?  Do you like your clean kitchen, counters, and the dishwasher humming?  Dishes are a job that must be done. Someone’s going to have to get them done and on most days it’s you.  What if we gave the same time and care to our husbands?  I am not drawing a parallel between dishes and husband but the reality is that someone’s got to “do them”. 

So now begins the blog that most women, especially Christian women dare not discuss.  A blog about taking good care of our husbands and serving them in more ways than just a good meal.  We can talk about cooking them their favorite meal, or seeing that shirts are ironed or picked up from the cleaners. We can makes lists of things we know that they will like, or enjoy and try to be a good wife loving and serving her husband. If we are all doing such a good job at this the why do we struggle, on many different levels, when it comes to intimacy, as in sexual intimacy?

The conversation with my friend spoke volumes of our needs and desires that we wish we could get from our husbands.  “I want him to want me, to walk up to me and just lay a big juicy kiss.”.  “But then if he did I might gag as his breath is not always the best.”  Or in my case, it’s been so long I would not know what to do, but he would never do that anyway. Oh well a girl can dream.  So we get lost in our dreams of that girl through chick flicks, magazines, and hearing those few, who are still in marital bliss share their stories of romance.  As she and I continued our conversations we both admitted it came down to what we wanted. Nothing to really do with what we could give or are even capable of giving.

So we made a deal with each other. We both made the deal to do something that is not in our normal realm of lovie-dovie behaviors with our husbands.  To give them, upon walking in the door,  a French Kiss.  Regardless of any words exchanged, how they may have made us feel earlier in the day or week, what they may smell or look like.  Then we would text each other one simple word “done”.  For seven days we are committed to this French Kiss.  Holding each other accountable and with the expectation of nothing.

So many woman are losing their husbands because they are either workaholics, involved in emotional / sexual affairs with another woman, are addicted to pornography or just consumed by the daily responsibilities of caring for one’s family. dreams of more and getting less and less. It’s not a secular problem. It is a bigger problem among Christian marriages, which are causing the breakdown of marriages.  We hold our husbands to bondage in our marriages because we do not know, as women how to be there on the levels of needs our husbands have.
When God laid Adam to rest in Genesis 2 He did so because God saw the need for Adam to have a helper. A woman to come alongside and be his helper. 
 ¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 
  We want desperately as woman to have our husbands leading us. But what if that lead is one that could use a little help. Do we step back, grumble and then complain over what our husband can or can not do for us.  What if we were to become help mates in the area of sexual intimacy? Help mates as God designed us to be.

Today it starts with two women.  It starts with a French Kiss.  Yesterday it was another woman sharing her heart and her frustrations. Always it comes down to what His responsibility to “me” is.  And then another woman, and the lines of communication break down, and a husband and wife stand back to back instead of facing each other and embracing each other.  A few more steps taken away and division begins, and sadly the computer, which is so easy get turned on, and there our men are getting turned on too. Our hearts break, and we distance ourselves more, or if the computer is not an issues, we allow other issues that are equally devastating to compromise the most beautiful relationship in the world.

This is a private blog for Christian Women who want to learn how to love in a way that draws your husband in closer.  This is a blog for women who want sound Biblical guidance in how we learn to honor and serve our husbands.  Women who want to learn how to make those steps to rebuild and restore that private part of your marriage.  A blog that will ask you to be specific in your heart and intentions to serve your husband, to honor your husband and be intentional with your desires to love him with passions he may never have known you to have.

Each week, a new level of accountability will placed before you. Are you up for the challenge?  Can you follow through without expecting anything in return?  And then you will be asked to share your heart on each week’s challenge.  Sharing your story.  We each have a story of our hearts. Each story that is shared will protect the intimacies between you and your husband. 

If you know someone that might want to be part of this blog you are welcome to share the address, and they can be brought into this very special group. 

So now back to the dishes.  They have to be done.  They are not always so fun to do but just think how much fun it would be to know that you are doing something special for your husband. No matter what you get in return.  The only thing we get in return when doing the dishes is more dirty dishes, yet we show up to get them done.  Now it’s our husband’s turn.  Join me on this journey.  As we learn and grow how to be Godly Christian women, passionately seeking to do more for our husbands.

Blessings Dear Sister’s In Christ
elizabeth

p.s. I got a text today from this dear friend. Can you guess what it said? Just one word..."done".  My husband had not walked in the door yet, but she too will get a text later. 

P.S.S.
I have received many encouraging emails on the content this blog will have. I am blessed by the many inquiries and realization that perhaps there is truly a need for Christian sisters to get a better scope of this thing called marriage, help mate, and life.  Here is are answers to a questions, asked by many of you. 

"Sharing of Stories" will not be happening on this blog. I am really making this entire blog about how to love and honor our husbands. How to come alongside and help them as husbands by being the model Christ gives as serving. Adding some fun, humor, Biblically based, and spice.

I will write specific blogs that give ideas on how to do just that. To challenge my sisters in Christ to love, serve and honor our husband regardless of what we get in return. This is not a blog about wrapping yourself in saran wrap and answering the door. I actually sat under teaching years ago that a woman shared this as a tip to spice things us and those of us who were moms rolled our eyes and said ....yeah right.

I want to encourage and bring couples together in ways that are never going to be discussed by our pastors. How can they? We are women and they are not going to tell us how to be that "help mate" in the more intimate areas. Besides don't you think that would be just weird for a pastor to speak about us women.

So come along and see how God begins to make the realities of both directions and teaching in areas of our lives, that we are often left to our own on.

On occasion there will be "blog interviews" with specific woman about their hearts and what God showed them and how they grew to a deeper level of intimacy with their spouses. One woman I met with for several months weighed 434 pounds. She hated herself and how she looked and for that reason could NEVER open up parts of herself to her husband, a husband who loved her dearly. As she began to understand her identity in Christ, and the love relationship with God, she grew more confident in herself as a woman, and started to show her husband that he had a green light into her space. She today is willing to share her story, and her husband gives her permission. Is this a encouragement on sex? No, it's understanding who we are, as women in Christ and in so doing we can then extend ourselves in ways to our spouses we never dreamed of. Blessings and Joy, Elizabeth