Kindness ( Part One)

"Done and made $19.00 doing it"
“How did you do that?"
"Well you kind of hug him reaching low, pick his pockets, swish-swash pockets picked"

For one week we committed to French kissing our husbands as they walked in the door from work.  We committed to text each other "done" each time this was completed.  And for seven straight days we did just that.  We met yesterday to discuss this agreement and both came to realize that something dramatically had changed.  There is a connection, a quiet, unspoken, sometimes spoken connection.  We decided that it did not matter how we were treated, how they would respond.  We would simply do this in honor and love for our husbands.

K.I.N.D.N.E.S.S. 
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

The first time I ever visited David’s home I was mortified to see that every sink in his house was D.I.R.T.Y.  Being somewhat of a recovering germ-a-phoebe I truly was over the top mortified.  I knew that if we were to progress in this relationship things would need to change and habits of sink hygiene would be the first.

The first week of our marriage I was M.O.R.T.I.F.I.E.D.  The sinks, all three of them, were always dirty. No amount of cleaners and clothes in plain sight could get this man to wipe down a sink.  Did he really even love me?  This is important to me. If he loved me it would be important to him.  God, help me to show David how to clean sinks. Please.  I have issues and they are issues of spotless sinks.

This afternoon I asked David if I could share my “sink” story on this blog and he said sure.  You see God did help me.  God began to show me what kindness would look like in my young marriage.  At first I thought it was to kindly show David how to clean a sink. To kindly express to David why I wanted to have clean sinks.  Well he kindly told me that his height proved a challenge for cleaner sinks, and with out his contacts or glasses those microscopic spots became impossible to see with a naked eye.  That was not really what God had in mind when the “kindness” began pressing on my heart.

For the next week God showed me passage after passage of what kindness looked like as a Christ follower.  Not once, in all of my reading of the Bible did I see a D.I.S.C.L.A.I.M.E.R.  I wanted to find one. One that would read something like.”be yea kind one to another tenderhearted, forgiving each other, but know that he who keeps a dirty sink will not be worthy of the kindness Elizabeth has to offer.” Good thing God did inspire me to write the Words of scripture. 

I started to pray and ask God to give me a pure spirit in serving up some kindness to David.  I am strong willed and like things to be in order, tidy, and sparkling, like a sink.  I was reminded in God’s word of His love for me.  My imperfections are far worse than David’s inability to spray cleaner and dry towel a sink after each use.  Yet my will allowed this one thing to consume me, and kindness was far from my heart.

What consumes you?  It’s quite embarrassing to admit that a dirty sink caused so many disturbances in my heart towards David.  Ask yourself what might you want to control over your husband?

Guess what?  I have been cleaning the sinks for our entire marriage.  I do this quietly and without his notice.  David has his own sink in our master bath. I will go in with my cleaners and spray it down so it sparkles and leave a nice clean towel.

I want you to prayerfully ask God to show you something your heart prevents you from being kind to your husband.  Something that must be rendered to Him.   You know what that “something” is. God knows it, yet with those delicate hands you hang onto it.  Open up those hands and ask God to hold your hand and take it from you.  Do not go to your husband and parade around how great you are for giving this one thing up.  Rather in a quiet way, a loving way, a kind hearted way serve your husband in this area.  Pray before and after.  It’s okay to grumble a little, but to yourself, to God and not to your girlfriends.  Grumbling about your husband is dishonoring to him.  As you begin to serve and honor your husband with kindness in this one thing, you we see the Divine interventions of the Holy Spirit pour through you kindness you did not even know you were capable of. 

And then as you make this new act of kindness a habit I ask that you go and French Kiss your husband.  Have cell phone in hand, because you might just need to call a medic when you lay one of those on your man.

Please share in the comment below how God is working in your heart on this one act of kindness to be doing daily, followed by a French Kiss.  It’s about your heart, your change, and your willingness to be obedient to the Word of God. 

I have a challenge ahead in this act of kindness. I know I have a bad habit that annoys David. Starting today I am going to change this habit, and when I do, I will give that man a French Kiss. I will update later this week what that habit is/was.

“Dear Lord Jesus I pray over the wives who long to love and honor their husbands unconditionally.  We put conditions on so many things, things we are so unaware of that they become bad habits. May the habits of our hearts be ones that start with kindness, not because of anything special these men have done, but because we are called to love as you love.  Thank you for such a tiny verse in a big Bible for such clear instructions. Blessings and Joy, Elizabeth